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Razor Blades & Cocktail Cherries! Berlin Burlesque Festival!

Razor Blades & Cocktail Cherries! Berlin Burlesque Festival!

by Clea Cutthroat


Photo by: ©Carlos Kella. Special thanks to Sven Peterson & The Home of Burlesque

I have a love/hate relationship with my disco ball alarm clock.


I'm always worried that I'm going to sleep thru it, so I placed it across the room.

It lights up, spins around and plays hits from the 70s. 

Right now, I feel like a hit from the 70s.

Hallelujah! It's been quite a month, and as Rock Lobster is booming thru my flat, I realize that I must find a way to move this sore body up and out of bed, and to that damn "off" button!

As I slowly dangle myself down from my loft bed, I miss the last step, trip over my heels from the night before and land, SPLAT, face down on the floor…

Photo by: ©Carlos Kella

"…He was in a jam,

He's in a giant clam

Rock lobster…"

I could just lie here. But, then the disco would never die. 

Luckily, as I heave myself up, I spot my Andy Warhol wig next to two empty cocktail glasses underneath the table.

I thought I lost it!

I grab my wig, collect the half-empty glasses, and with a new insatiable urge to eat a banana, I finally make it to flip the "off" switch and say goodbye to disco-duck-rock-lobster for the day.

Sweet, sweet silence.

But…why is there an African spear in my flat?

Why are there hot pink feathers in my cactus?

Where's my phone?


As I make my way towards the bathroom I find my tights in the hallway, my dress in the kitchen, a pile of gaffer tape around the sink, and a shower full of green glitter.

How many drinks did I have?!?!?!

I clean up the flat, take a 30 minute shower…and luckily now the place and I smell like freshly scrubbed roses. I'm beginning to think that today is a day to skip the coffee and go right to a drink…Lucky Tart cocktail anyone?

Photo by: ©Carlos Kella


Mmmmm…that's better.

It has been a wild month.  It all somehow started when the phenomenal Amber Ray and I posed together at Dr. Sketchy's.  I should have known that any month that starts with a white wig, bananas and blood was gonna be a good one. ;)

From Dr. Sketchy's Berlin! Photo by: © NINAZIMMERMANN.COM

Hmmm….this cocktail could use some more lime juice…

Rumbling around the fridge looking for some limes, I discover that I seem to have 4 bottles of champagne!

Did I buy them?

Oh…nope! That is pirate booty from the last Bonaparte show. We had one show in Berlin this year, and it was at the legendary Kater Holzig, It was insane! Blood, champagne, glitter, feathers, fights, bondage, giant insects and porno computer heads….what more could a girl possibly ask for?

 From Bonaparte show at Kater Holzig. Photo by:© Petrosilius Zwackelmann

The cherry on top of everything this month was surely the 1st International Berlin Burlesque Festival. Produced by the beautiful Marlene von Steenvag & Else Edelstahl, it was a weekend celebrating the best in burlesque. From the odd, to the classic. From bump in grind to razor blades…it ALL happened!

I had the absolute honor to perform on the ODD night! Hosted by Fez Wrecker and Eve Champagne, it was the perfect night! I was blown away to share the gorgeous Wintergarten stage with such world class performers. Anna Hulagan, Diva Hollywood, Fräulein Frauke, Ferkel Johnson, The 'Luminous Pariah, Domino Barbeau, Gossamer Threads Vaudeville, Mopsy Meyers, Mama Ulita, Anita Drink and Reuben Kaye...THEY ALL BLEW MY MIND!!!  I also learned that not only is Champagne Sparkles an incredible performer, but the best damn stage manager that I ever worked with!

The hostess-with-the-mostess! Eve Champagne knee-sliding to me after my performance at the BBF. Photo by: ©HvS

As my drink starts to run dry, I want to leave you with a little gem from one of my favorite characters, J'aime, from Summer Heights High:

"I don't wanna look slut like not slut but sort of, semi-slut. D'you know what I mean?"

Oh yes girl, I do!



Sour Apple Pucker


Melon Liqueur

Fresh Lime Juice


 …Till next time!


Clea Cutthroat

"Like" the "Cocktails with Clea" Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/CocktailsWithClea

Contact Email: [email protected]

This Article was published in the Burlesque Bitch Ezine on Sep 27, 2013.
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